Shujou
by Shinnite
Summary: It's a bit unexplainable, but it's from Signal's p.o.v.


Shujou

__

You left me, Nobuhiko. Despite all of your promises, you still left me.

We had stuck together through thick and thin. I watched you grow up; I watched you become a 'handsome, lady-killer bishonen', or so Oratorio often said. You may have become taller than me, but you were still my otouto, and I was still your aniki.

When you 'officially' became an adult, Karma had warned me that you would probably leave. Brothers always part ways, he said.

And you did leave – but I left with you. We had promised eachother to stay together – we were brothers after all. And you would never break a promise to me. Or so I thought.

You did leave me alone – but in a way even Karma probably never imagined. I should have realized all those years ago that you would eventually leave me this way. I should have realized from that conversation we'd had – a conversation that I bitterly remember in perfect detail.

"Why is that cat sleeping in the middle of the road? It could get hurt," Signal muttered, staring at the limp, orange-striped form.

"It's not sleeping, Signal," Nobuhiko replied. "It's dead."

"Ah." There was a pause. "Nobuhiko, what do you mean by 'dead'?"

_Such a simple question – a simple truth._

"It's kinda hard to explain," Nobuhiko muttered, slightly shocked. How was he supposed to explain something like this? How was he supposed to explain a truth most people took for granted?

_It was such a simple truth – but with a complex answer._

"I guess, Signal, death is something that happens to living things when they stop functioning."

"Stop functioning? Then why doesn't somebody fix him?"

"Because you **can't** fix death – living things don't work that way. You could say our 'programming' is permanently erased when we die. Erased and unretrieveable."

"So what your saying is that death is like a permanent shutdown."

"Exactly."

"But why would people choose to die? I wouldn't."

Nobuhiko sighed. "Because living things can't **choose** to die – they just do. Death is something that happens to living things – **all** living things."

_I missed your emphasis back then – your hint. Or maybe I just chose to miss it. Maybe I didn't want to know what you really meant; maybe I didn't want to know that you could be taken from me. Not in such a painful way…_

"Nobuhiko-kun."

22 year old Nobuhiko swiveled in his chair, looking Chibi-Signal in the eye. "What is it, Chibi?"

"Does dying hurt?" The man's eyes widened as he looked at his older – sometimes younger – brother. "Ooki-Signal forgot to ask, but does dying really hurt?"

_What cruel irony dictated that it was this conversation that I could remember? Who would be so cruel as to inflict this memory on both of my forms?_

Nobuhiko frowned, deep in thought. "That was a subject from a long time ago, Chibi." He sighed. "I would say yes and no. Most ways of dying are painful – sickness, injury…but there are those lucky few that die painlessly in their sleep. They just drift off one night and never wake up."

"Oh."

_But you weren't one of the lucky ones, Nobuhiko. That drunk driver made sure you never had a chance. I – a robot – could be repaired._

But you…you…

A long, monotonous beep sounded within the hospital room. Minoru started sobbing – crying harder with each of Masanobu's clumsy attempts to soothe her. Kris kept shaking her head in denial – and Pulse's eyes were full of pity. Pity directed at the still, dry-eyed Signal.

The robot was in shock – Nobuhiko couldn't die! The two of them were supposed to stay together. He shook his head. "No…" he whispered. "He can't die…Nobuhiko can't die…" Signal rushed forward, and only Pulse's quick reflexes kept the temperamental robot from shaking Nobuhiko's prone form.

_So I went a little crazy back then…can you blame me?_

"Nobuhiko, wake up! You can't die, do you hear me!! You promised me we would stay together! You **promised**!!" He sank to his knees, sobbing. "…you promised me…"

_But what is a living thing – what is a 'soul'? I cry…I feel pain. And despite what everyone says I **am** a living thing – and all living things die._

So wait for me, Nobuhiko. Wait for me.

Author's Notes ~ Ahhh, this oneshot is so _depressing_! It almost made **_me_** cry! O.O

Of course, it's up to you or not to decide if this is Shonen ai or not – I ain't sayin' a word. ;p And I'm not slacking off my other TS fic – this was just one of those oneshots that wouldn't leave you alone until you wrote it down.

As usual, this doesn't belong to me…blah blah. You can contact me at silverwave_torrent@hotmail.com if you want to comment, but put 'fanfic' in the title heading so I don't accidentally erase it… . 


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